So it's over.

When I said "it" I wasn't referring to anything specific. Lol. Man it just feels good to say "it's over", as if all the problems can be solved by simply saying this one magic line. Except that they cannot.

Sigh.

So it's November, and Tokyo is all ready for another winter. The Christmas lights at Ebisu Garden Place were dazzlingly bright when I walked past; another year is gonna be over soon. Which means a lot of things -- another birthday, another Christmas, another New Year and another school year. Why is it so fast? I don't even remember anything about autumn and it's gone. I think as people grow older we just lose track of time.

And many things had happened, in between September and November -- basically the length of time between my last post and this post. I broke up with L. I went to US. I met more people. I made more friends. I finished my internship. I became depressed again. I started to feel a bit desperate about life. I spent a lot, a lot of money impulsively. And I spent my days feeling drunk all the time despite not having any alcohol. 

Oh man. Things are not going well at all. 

I guess I need to pick myself up from the ground. If not, life will continue to suck.

I still feel lonely despite having someone around. But I don't trust people easily; as pessimistic and insecure and scared of being hurt as usual. I'm never gonna like someone until that person is capable of liking me back. Sometimes I think maybe I'm destined to stick with computer, or AI, for the rest of life. It's just too hard to deal with human beings.

Still, maybe my second winter in Tokyo is little bit better than the first one. At least now I have more things to do, and I feel less stuck and less miserable (especially with Donald Trump just elected as the US president lol). I do miss my last birthday though, whenever I thought of that special gift I received early in the morning. ZD was a nice guy. Just too bad it's me. Again, many things happened this year and I'm glad he's over it now. But, I'm sure, like all the birthdays I had over the recent years, there'll be nice things awaiting ahead and I'm looking forward to that :).

Ah! I miss the me in high school so much but there's no point just missing it. Oh please. Let me have more energy for work&study and more hope for the future! Haha. Somehow I get motivated just thinking by all the people who've cared about me. I have no family, but I have the best friends in the world. You guys are the best.