Whatever.

Now that I think of it, it's amazing how much loneliness I experienced in Singapore. Some of the most unhappy times in my life happened when I was there, especially before Junior College; as much as I like to go back and visit my friends, I hated Singapore back then. I'm thankful to all my JC friends. I'm thankful to residents of RIB without whom I couldn't have made it through. To be honest I never got particularly close to any classmates; I guess there's just some silent mutual agreement that they couldn't understand our world and vice versa. I remember a particularly sad day when I just entered JC. During a class activity, the most popular girl decided that we should play this game where one is given 3 people and decide whether to sleep with/marry/kill each of them. It was meant to be a "fun" game; people were waiting for gossips. But, to me, it was the cruelest and most stupid game ever. I still remember that feeling when a male classmate who n...

December is always the most nostalgic time of the year. Not only because it's the last and therefore most precious month of a year, but also because it means Christmas and New Year and my birthday. And that's where all those old memories start to flood in when I don't even want to think about them. Every time of the year. In a few days it will be my birthday again. Somehow, I'd never looked forward to my birthday, not even when I was a kid. Not that I ever had my birthday celebrated as a kid, anyway; my parents never cared. But ya, I don't like birthday. In fact, I'm scared of birthday, especially the week before it. Not because I don't want to get older -- I think I'm already at a stage where I don't care -- but because birthday just reminds me how lonely I am. You know it when others have their surprise parties and cupcakes and flowers for birthday while you only have psets. I hate myself for secretly looking forward to birthday surprises eve...