Contemplation.

To explain all the things that happened in the past year.

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Towards the end of JC my depression was getting quite bad as a result of all the stress from study, college application, relationship and family. And then, perhaps fortunately, there came a thought: I want to live somewhere far from everyone, somewhere deep in the forest covered in snow, and just work on things I like, be it physics or maths or art. That thought later became the main theme of all my college application essays and helped me survive JC.

And then, I came to Japan, accidentally or not.

Days in Tokyo were dazzling. But nights were lonely. Perhaps Lawrence helped me through a bit with that. But last year, finally, I gave in to stress. I let myself relax and try to recover from the pain. Time in Tokyo no longer felt as lonely; but it was numbing, like entertainments from Brave New World. And slowly, gradually, I started to realize that.

Half-suspended in the mid air of a splendid mirage, I let myself down and stepped on the ground again. I staggered a bit at the beginning (perhaps I still am), but I'm getting better, I guess.

And the sign of it -- whether it's a good thing or not -- is that I'm having the same vision again.

That wooden house covered in snow, located at some far corner of the world.

Ahh. Maybe I should just stay here, and move to Hokkaido some time.